a sky's lament.

In New York, the night sky is crying
“Love me!
For you keep me from the stars.
Love me. For you change my very nature
Love me, for reflected in my ochre hue~view
Is your candlelight lovemaking,
Your street lamp romances,
Your thousand books read by flashlight,
Your discotheques, your rooftop s’mores,
Your ironic selfies, your fasts, your fury,
Your births, your cigarettes, your chosen sins.
Your healing wounds, your sins forgotten
I beg you, love me, for I feel blue
Love me, for me.
Love me, for you, for you I change my hue."
            

Dug up, displayed.
The tulips I bought the day before I locked my door,
 they have wilted in a peculiar way.
From the top down. The stems still vivid green, 
working to supply the dead reproductive organ. 
I wonder if they will notice. Should I toss them? 
I've been watching them for weeks,
 my colleagues no doubt wondering at my empty stare.
The sun that bleached them of their vivre now gave them narrative.
The petals hang limply, vivid gold, a dead queen's jewelry, 
dug up, displayed. Who conquered you?
What man defiled this land to bring you forth and waste you so?
 Should I find him, should I rage, should I despair?
Should I thank him, that you stay with me?
No sweetness lingers upon the air you breathed,
 no honey born of flesh…
How should I frame you, that I never be alone?
        

I want to be free
As that bird from a song I have forgotten
    (whose song we all recall)
Croning on about past harvests
“How we ate!”  
“seeds!” “thoughts!” “eyes of crows!”
    (they passed their allotment)
“We ate for days. It was a royal feast”
    (the crows were kings)
The conversation was fulfilling
And we were always right
And we ate so much!
Never went hungry
Never confronted
Ate even our words
So heavy, so weighty, so full of meaning
so damn free-spoken
we took feed, to chew on	
    (some took notes, to feed on)
        

I'd hidden a piece
Palmed, when you weren't looking
slipped it to my belt line,
And so my empty pockets you inspected
with boxes flipped, and cushions turned,
I watched you looking 
truth unable to resolve

you asked me
Asked me after I stopped
you from seeing, [but] you know me 
Know me well enough to rock
Back and forth
I gave in, gave you
and you took that missing piece
and left!
            
        

I want to swallow the world
Like a marble from my childhood 
Tasteless, hard, flawless, twisted blue on the inside
When I was five
I fit two in my mouth
I could have fit more, but I only had two
Enough to knock together
Enough to know I could try again

I want to swallow this world
But I know like with my marble, I'll get a belly ache
And laugh and laugh and pass it 
And reach into shit
And see it unchanged,
Twisted blue, with myself reflection
A day older, hungry,
With a second in my mouth
        

You got me twisted, here I linger
A marionette with sticky fingers
A beat too late to be the one
Whose grace you let upon your throne

My hands they finger at your heart
at your command they steal it out
Whose fault is it when I wake up
Your fingers now upon my heart
Squeezing the beat to which we salsa?

    1.
There's always a tomorrow,
Hardly a today
Please, ~justice~ oh judge, I demand a stay
To staying another day
Unchanging, to a death by slow decay
Demanding change
(I falter, hesitating,
Forgetting, need reminding)
Please, my judge, remind me! 
That your stroke could be a stroke,
That your heartbreak could my heart break,
That your choice could take my voice,
That today could halt tomorrow
That your ruling never waits
That you could step, and I could stop
Remind me, judge!
That should I beg your mercy,
That mercy came, as a reminder:
(Yesterday I was drowning)
Today I stand on solid ice
Tomorrow could be sunny.

    2.
Remind me, judge! 
My judge, I beg your mercy
“Justice” they call you
I need not you just, 
but kind, 
My judge, be kind. 
    

I bought the day with silence
But the night could not be bribed. 
    The moon asked for a dance
    The water beckoned - “take a chance”
    The silver blackened, the rivers raged  
And I stayed mum
    the stars promised true riches
    the wind whispered true secrets
    which the trees begged me to hear
And I stayed mum
And then the curtains parted 
    I saw your open eyes
    I said -